The Q

Not just for Queer

Photo by Vince Fleming on Unsplash

The Beard and Scar Instagram filter helped me realize I was trans.

I’m sure y’all remember it from a couple of years ago. People, mostly (presumed) cis women, finding the filter and living out their best Book Boyfriend life in their IG stories. I LOVED seeing it. Seeing the fun, seeing the “I can be my own boyfriend.”

But that joy was quickly snuffed out. Because as it does, IG started Discourse and Gatekeeping on who can and cannot explore gender. So, at the time, thinking I was still a cis queer woman, I didn’t want to be a problematic trans ally so I didn’t want to do it.

Then I saw posts from some trans and non-binary folks talking about the gender euphoria they were experiencing and I felt the urge to try it, but that maybe if I didn’t post it, I wasn’t going to be a problematic person.

Had I not used that filter, it would have taken me longer to realize I was trans. When I turned the filter on, the scruff and sharpening of my face literally made me cry. Because it felt so damn good. (There was also a deepening voice part to it that ALSO felt really good.)

And then after crying, I shared it because Euphoria. And thus began my journey into being trans.

Exploring gender is for everyone. So much of the queer community is about joy, about play, about exploring. I just want us to remember that the Q in LGBTQIA+ is not just Queer, but also Questioning.