I have tried writing three different newsletters over the last three weeks and none of them felt right. To be very honest, nothing feels right at the moment. August was the remnants of Summer SAD and panic attacks. September was baseline of moderate anxiety and ended the month with a semi-traumatic doctor appointment.
This month I am trying to take care (as best I can) of some physical health stuff so that hopefully tricks my mental health into being better. Alas, it’s not working yet.
Since I’m tired and brain doesn’t want to brain, back to my favorite format of Ten Things that don’t have to connect or make sense. Enjoy.
My Texas allergies are so much worse than my Michigan ones. Every morning I wake up with my nose stuffy and my eyes glued together. I hate it.
The daylists on Spotify are so delightful. Sometimes the algorithms just get me and I have no complaints. As I write this: teen pop bubblegum tuesday morning — it’s pleasantly queer.
Season 2 of Our Flag Means Death is so fucking good so far. A blend of angst, humor, and heartbreak. I screamed, cried, and laughed. And let me just tell you, if you think you have an inkling from the trailers, I assure you that YOU DO NOT ACTUALLY KNOW ANYTHING. It prepares you for literally nothing. And I just love it.
I’m at 15,019 words on my Secret Writing Experiment out of what I think will be around 18,000 words. I’m so close to being done with the first draft and then will share some more about it. I might do some polls over on IG to help me figure out the next layer I need to write later this week or next week.
Southern sweet tea can’t be beat.
While at my eldest niefling’s cheer practice, I came up with an idea for a cheer horror story and I don’t know what to do with it. I think it wants to be YA but also it could be fun as a middle grade? Who am I? I barely even read those! Also, I know, I know. Not every idea needs to actually be written. But I’ll let it percolate. Just to see what happens.
Am I in a reading slump or just exhausted?
I opened up my laptop to write and ended up watching Beetlejuice and Corpse Bride instead, oops.
The ads can’t figure out who I am. I love it. I get ads geared toward outdoors people, gay men, and dog owners. Lolsob. I mean I’m queer/gender fluid enough that yeah, gay man tracks pretty accurately, but the others are not me.
[Redacted] — The last thing I write was too depressing and I don’t feel like I want to end on a sad note. Now here is a not sad note.
Fun fact to end this newsletter with: this took me five hours to write because I kept stopping to do other things. This is why I don’t send these as often. I just cannot focus.
Maybe I’ll go back to those mini daily letters of morning unedited thoughts like I did in June for Pride Month. What do y’all think? Did y’all like those enough?
I feel like I’m running out of inspiration for In A Brown Study. So we shall see what happens.
Until next time,
-Ash
I miss you and I love you 🧡🧡